I saw this question posted on Yahoo! Answers by a Muslim woman. This is truly sad in my opinion that someone who is a "good" Muslim has such a limited pool of Muslim men for marriage since they are out chasing "bar skanks" as she puts it. At least she is educated and smart to realize how these "Muslim men" behave, but the Muslim women from uneducated villages chosen to be these men's wives certainly will not be aware:
To my Muslim men only: What do you really think of us Muslimahs, truly?
I'm a good Muslim girl. I wear Hijab, pray, fast, respect my parents, and although I have male friends, I respect the boundaries placed on us within Islam and do this of my own volition. There are quite a few young Muslim men in my community who, although they fast and go to Jumaa, drink, sleep around and other things other American guys do, but I just know when it comes to getting married they will want someone pure and naive and unexperienced, and although they tell us (young Muslimahs) how they respect us, they spend most of their time running after the bar skanks.
So my question is this: How do you see us Muslimahs, truly? Because for me, Allah (SWT) comes before any man, and I'm not doing this so you'll want me as your wife. Do you see us as the good girls who are to wait in the wings until you're done having your fun and ready to settle down?I don't mean to bash. Just want some answers from some real Muslim men.Salamu Alaiykum wa rahmutallah wa barakatu.
2 years ago
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Things I don't like about Muslim culture
[**Disclaimer: this is NOT a criticism of Islam as a religion. This is a criticism of the CULTURE of many Muslims. It's a criticism of Muslim's interpretations of Islam and the Qu'ran. I think it is plain stupid to blindly accept what some male scholars interpret to be "truths".**]
1. Gender Double Standards -
A lot of my guy cousins have girlfriends (most of them NON-MUSLIM as a Muslim girl is not allowed to date) and pictures of themselves with these girls on Facebook/Myspace. If a girl in my family was open about a romantic relationship, she would be the topic of all the "aunty's" gossip and her parents would threaten to ship her back to her parents' country of origin. She would be thought of as a slut and a rebel.
But for males, nobody says anything. The idea that "boys will be boys" prevails. In many people's interpretation of the Qu'ran, Muslim men are allowed to marry Christians and Jews so the boys dating non-Muslims might not even be considered that bad because they have more flexibility in who they plan to marry. However, Muslim women are forbidden to marry anyone but a Muslim. Now I've heard all the reasons why men are permited to marry non-Muslims such as that they are the head of the household, that children take religion of their fathers but all of this is a bunch of BS.
In Jewish tradition, children inherit the religion of their mothers. So what would the children be cosidered if a Muslim man married a Jewish woman? It is assumed in Muslim tradition that children will take the religion of their fathers, but what if the father dies and the children are left to be raised by a Christian mother [this actually happened in my family]? Who honestly believes that these children are going to be raised Muslim by a Christian woman?
In my culture, women are hardly ever allowed to even leave the house without a chaperone. They are forced to live a miserable existence of isolation except when accompanied by male relative who lets them come out from seclusion.
The problem is that many Muslim women will not even challenge these rules or they will be considered "corrupted". Many times Muslim women do not even know what other freedoms are out there for them since they do not know anything other than what they have been presented with in terms of options.
I think Muslim parents need to provide equal opportunities for both men and women. It is not right to look the other way with your sons, but to restrict your daughters. Either allow both the freedom, or maintain firm rules with both son and daughter.
1. Gender Double Standards -
A lot of my guy cousins have girlfriends (most of them NON-MUSLIM as a Muslim girl is not allowed to date) and pictures of themselves with these girls on Facebook/Myspace. If a girl in my family was open about a romantic relationship, she would be the topic of all the "aunty's" gossip and her parents would threaten to ship her back to her parents' country of origin. She would be thought of as a slut and a rebel.
But for males, nobody says anything. The idea that "boys will be boys" prevails. In many people's interpretation of the Qu'ran, Muslim men are allowed to marry Christians and Jews so the boys dating non-Muslims might not even be considered that bad because they have more flexibility in who they plan to marry. However, Muslim women are forbidden to marry anyone but a Muslim. Now I've heard all the reasons why men are permited to marry non-Muslims such as that they are the head of the household, that children take religion of their fathers but all of this is a bunch of BS.
In Jewish tradition, children inherit the religion of their mothers. So what would the children be cosidered if a Muslim man married a Jewish woman? It is assumed in Muslim tradition that children will take the religion of their fathers, but what if the father dies and the children are left to be raised by a Christian mother [this actually happened in my family]? Who honestly believes that these children are going to be raised Muslim by a Christian woman?
In my culture, women are hardly ever allowed to even leave the house without a chaperone. They are forced to live a miserable existence of isolation except when accompanied by male relative who lets them come out from seclusion.
The problem is that many Muslim women will not even challenge these rules or they will be considered "corrupted". Many times Muslim women do not even know what other freedoms are out there for them since they do not know anything other than what they have been presented with in terms of options.
I think Muslim parents need to provide equal opportunities for both men and women. It is not right to look the other way with your sons, but to restrict your daughters. Either allow both the freedom, or maintain firm rules with both son and daughter.
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